What is a Best Friend?
Until this day I have never quite been able to describe what
the term ‘Best Friend’ actually means? Can you?
When you think about it at a first glance it’s easy…as you
can say that it’s someone I know; that could be a family member, wife, husband
partner, or a person you have just met?
But for lots of people it’s that one person that they have
known for a long time and who has been there through thick and thin. Sharing the
good times and of cause the bad times. Which is when you’re feeling down, and they
come and pick you up!
But to me,
this is an easy and obvious response, which for me it doesn’t fully answer the
question! Of what is it to be best friend?
Who was it
that woke up one day and said “that person there, he/she is my best friend”,
and then everyone else just wanted one as it had become popular overnight like
trading cards or a tasty sweet?
I don’t buy it at all…hmmm I think I’ve just made it a 2
part question, anyway back to my blog madness!
If we ignore what I just said about “Who is could be”
because all the examples I just gave would spring to everyone’s mind straight
away, and we dig a bit deeper and find out what a best friend really is.
Who they really are? And what is means? As I believe a best friend could literally be
anyone or anything, do you not agree?
Let me try explain and we’ll see what you think by the end!
Mans best Friend!
I think the relationship between mankind and canines, is a
good place to start…as it’s a perfect example of friendship.
It’s a commonalty known fact that the humble hound is known
as ‘Mans Best Friend’, and why wouldn’t they be!
From cave man hunter partners to loveable pets, dogs have
been a core part of human society, since man discovered he/she had a brain, and
more importantly how to use it!
But although roles have changed both man and beast still
have a strong love for one another, and it is one of the strongest friendships
known in our world. But how and why did this start?
What was it that made the first wolfs/dog see us as a
friend? Now historians will tell you that humans and wolves worked together hunting. Wolves were the superior tracker
but humans was the superior killer; thus wolves would lead humans to the prey
and humans would leave some of the meat to the wolves.
This is a nice
story and something that a lot of people could have come to the conclusion for
themselves but WHY?
Was it our love
and companion with them? Was it team
work that bonded a friendship? Or was it merely the fact that wolves were
afraid of the dark and loved our camp fires? Maybe we’ll never find out?
Going back to the modern day domesticated dog. Any
owner knows that they love us no matter what, they follow us no matter where we
go. They know when we are unhappy, they know when something’s not right.
They’ll always
love you through and through no matter what, and that the definition of a perfect
friendship for a lot of people.
But it’s a bit
one sided, because the human might not always return the same love to the dog. Nonetheless
this is similar to most friendships between humans, which is definitely something
to ponder...
What makes a true friend?
I think this is an important next step on our
search to find the answer.
The only problem
is that it’s really in the eye of the beholder ‘what makes a true friend’ as
everyone searches for something different.
We all have
checklists or something we look for, be it similar taste in music, films, games.
Or maybe it’s as simple as liking the same colour, or having similar background
and upbringing.
These are all
important things, but some friendships have to be earned, and it’s through
these similarities that people form alliances that last a lifetime.
Another important
part of any friendship is liking each other’s character. By learning things
together, by being able to work well as a team and by learning (and playing) on
each other’s strengths and weaknesses. Again all perfect reasons for having a
friend…but they are all just starting points. I think in a true friendship
there might be an extra element of closeness, as you start getting into their
head. Knowing exactly what the other person’s thinking, even if they aren’t
saying a word!
Ask any long term
friends, why do you like each other? And half the time, other than saying some
of the answers above, they might say something like “well I don’t know, he or she
just knows me so well”.
This happens
because at some point in there relationship something dramatic happened. It could have been something small, it could
have been something physical, or traumatic but regardless of the event that
happened to one of them.
The other person
would always be there for them...resulting in them becoming the one person they
can put all their trust in at that particular important point in time. Even if
that person failed or succeeded or in helping them.
The very fact
that they did what they did showed the other person just how much they meant to
them. I’m not talking like something you see in the films where someone is in a
life threatening situation and their friend risks it all just to go and save
them. It could be that smile, a hug, which helps them when they need it the
most.
I can always
remember when I was at school, me and my best friend made a really strong friendship
that we still have today…just as strong!
I recall a particularly bad day, where the local
oik was attacking (though bullying) my friend by just inflicting pain and
verbal abuse (heckling) at him.
Seeing this
happen I stepped in, and intervened something inside of me suddenly snapped, and
I went completely red and this sudden rush came over me summing great strength
from every part of my body. I remember grabbing the bully by his throat and lifted
him up and over my shoulders. After that I grabbed his torso in one hand and moved
my other further down his neck. As I wanted throw him against the brick wall (next
to me). As god I was so mad!
Seeing the fear
in his eyes, which made me feel so happy, happy that I was about to hurt him!
How dare he attack my friend?
I was about to do
it, when my friend told be stop by simply saying “NO”...so I did. In that split
second I had stopped, and put the tormenter down and let him go…. why? How did
he stop me, I had too much rage and power…but yet he did?
It’s like I say, something
like that happens which changes you forever. It’s something you can never describe…but you
never forget the feeling!
It keeps you
together even if you occasionally argue, even if you get frustrated…and want to
call it there.
Then you don’t want
to because of you remember everything they’ve done for you, and what you’ve
been through together. That’s what I think is amazing about a true friend.
Wow that brought
back a lot of memories, I typed out pretty much what I thought of without
stopping to think or breathe!
In conclusion
So we know
friends have a connection, we know they have something in common which has
started their relationship however small, we know that something has happened
between them to make them cement a special bond, and we know these bonds can last
thousands of years even surpassing the original friendship.
I think it’s
starting to make sense now. Like the wolves that worked with the humans a
relationship that stands the test of time, so do great friendships it’s really
makes you think about who you know, and who you trust, and who you deep down
know are a true friend. I know who he is, and I know he’ll reminisce about another
time we’ve shared together when he reads this.
Now I said to you that a Best Friend could
literally be anyone or anything!
Do you now see my point?
Whether they are someone you have just met, a family member
a new partner or even your beloved animal friend. The bonds you make with them
now, can cement a relationship that can seem quite small, will grow.
Never knowing where it might end up…and that’s the beauty of
friendship.
I leave you with that thought.
Phil
